A Day Late

Today's Thankful Thursday is a somber one. A few days ago a young man in our ward was in a motor cross accident. There is a track to the west of our house and he had gone over a jump and fell off his bike to have the guy behind him clear the jump and land on his head. He was air flighted to Calgary and had brain surgery to reduce the swelling in his brain and then had surgery on his lungs. He has since gotten pneumonia and this morning flat lined and then was brought back enough to be put on life support. His brain is not receiving enough oxygen because of the pneumonia. Today is his 19th birthday. (now this story has been watered down because I don't know everything that is happening. Until this morning, the story was positive to a point. They were hoping that he'd at least awake from his coma.) Anyway, my heart has been heavy today and the tears have caught me at the most inopportune times. As I think of this poor family my heart just aches. They have had Job's share of trials in their lives and I know not to question the Lord, but I find myself asking why. And then I look at my own life and I think why not me? Why am I so blessed to have so many things going right in my life? I look at the way I live my life and think What if this was to end tomorrow? Would my children know I love them? Would their last memory of me be of me cuddling with them on the couch or me yelling at them to finish cleaning their room? Would Mike know of my love? Or would he remember the last fight we had? Would my parents and siblings know that I love them? My friends? Are there those that I have offended? Someone I could have been kinder to? Given a minute of my time, shared a smile, spoken a soft word? I know I would have regrets and that's what's giving me pause today. Life is a gift. One we fought for in heaven. One we raised our hands to the square and voted upon. One I know I was excited for, thrilled with the opportunity to prove myself to my Father in Heaven. And yet, knowing this, I still have faults and I still struggle and it pains me. Because I'm not who I wish I could be. And I'm sure it pains my Father in Heaven. So today I am thankful for Stephen. For his life and how it is a reminder to me that life is short. Whether you are 3 minutes, 19 years or 99 I don't think any of us are ever ready to leave those we love. I am thankful for my Savior who made eternal life a reality for all of us. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and for the patience He has with me and I know He's waiting for me to smarten up. Yes, today has been a rude awakening of sorts and my heart is heavy and yet as the sun warms my face I find my face seeking its warmth, promising a new day, a new start, a renewed faith. A woman of action, a woman of love, a woman of kindness, a woman of patience, a woman of faith. I encourage you to think today "What would I regret if tomorrow never came?" Then do whatever comes to mind. Speak sweeter, hold them longer, smile brighter, live better.