Jackson

Today is my brother's anniversary so I volunteered to watch their son, Jackson. I know it's been two years since I've really dealt with a baby, but I feel so out of touch. I just keep on telling myself that it would be different if it was my own baby. Because to me it always seems like you love your own babies more than anyone else's. I mean you know what makes them laugh and just the right way to rock them when they're crying etc. I know nothing about Jackson other than he eats every 3 hours. Other than that I'm kind of in the dark. He's been a bit fussy tonight and I was definitely at a point tonight where I was ready to throw in the towel. And I even had my sisters here tonight totally helping. My kids were getting in the way and Abbie was a little confused about what was going on and I just wanted to send them all away so I could get Jackson calmed down and it was just a gong show. And I find myself thinking, is this the answer I've been looking for? Am I so used to my "freedom" with my older children that having another baby would throw me for a loop (throw me off my groove) or am I just being stupid and selfish. I don't know. So just to clarify, no answers on that front yet. Although I must admit I haven't been actively searching for my answer. It's on my mind quite a bit and I have my moments where I'm like YES I want another one, and then I think on days like today, would I be crazy to do it all again? I am happy with my 3 kids. I love them to death and I know I'd love any more babies that would come our way, but to think that in 6 months we could be out of diapers forever is just a wonderful thought. :D I don't know. But anyway, back to Jackson. So Shae and Kristin brought him over at noon and we had just started the getting ready for church routine. So I was up to my eyeballs into zipping zippers, tying shoes, buckling buckles. Not to mention getting into the hair etc. So I was only listening with half an ear as Kristin was rambling. I thought to myself - I'm a mother of 3 kids. A 3 month old isn't going to be a big problem. Boy was I wrong. I have no idea what to do for this kid when he cries. It's like I'm rendered helpless. And the thing is, he isn't your normal 3 month old. He weighs close to 20 pounds and he is so HEAVY. My arms aren't used to lugging around that much weight so soon. I mean Abbie is 2 and weighs 24 pounds. Usually by that age they're about 13-15 pounds i think. Anyway, so I spent most of sacrament meeting wandering the halls. Then he finally fell asleep and I caught most of Sunday school. He woke up right before RS and I warmed up his bottle and we sat in the mother's lounge the rest of the block because Abbie didn't go to nursery again. So we sat there and looked at each other for 45 minutes. I had to change his diaper twice. :D. Anyway, then we went home and he fell asleep in the car. Which was great. So I got dinner started and he woke up right before I put the squash in to cook. So I fixed up a bottle and my sister fed him. (A random thought just crossed my mind. You know, Sundays are always stressful for me. They are by far my least favorite day of the week. And it's not because of the actual church meeting. It's because of all the preparation to get to church and the lack of time in the day. At least that's what it seems to me. Anywho, I just now realized that at home if the kids are driving me crazy I can send them upstairs to play. They have no where to be sent to at my mom's house. My mom has a toy corner, but it's a pretty small corner and that's it. They don't have anywhere to go to get out of my hair. I miss my upstairs. :D) So Brie fed him and we quickly ate and then he started crying and he cried and cried and cried. It was rather annoying. But after about 45 minutes Brie took him for a walk and he calmed right down. So that was nice. Anyway, to make this long boring story short he fell asleep on the walk, and slept for about 15 minutes. Around 8 I finally got sick of the noise and so I made him a bottle and he started to drift to sleep. Until his mom called (for the 3rd time since we got home from church) and basically our lengthy conversation kept him from sleeping. Sigh. So finally at 9:45 he was ready for bed. He'd better sleep until at least 3. :D Brie and Ash and Kellan went to pick up Mom from the airport. Mom's flight comes in at 12 and so I should probably try to get some sleep before they come home because I'm sure Jackson will wake up and I'll be needing more than 5 hours of sleep to get me through tomorrow. But on a good note, I am having lunch tomorrow with an old friend. We were really good friends in elementary school. We danced in the same dance group until we were about 14 and I haven't seen her for a while. So that is something to look forward to. We're going to Casa Lupe. I've been here 5 weeks and haven't had a stitch of Mexican food unless you count the tacos I made for dinner last week. So I am super duper excited. Then on Tuesday my sister Paige will be here for the day and I'm thrilled because we NEVER get to spend time together and I'm excited for that. We're going to end Tuesday evening by going to see Becoming Jane. I never go to movies in the theater and while I've been here I went to Harry Potter and now this one! I'm stoked. Then on Wednesday Ash and I are going to go get our nails/feet done. I'm going to get some fake nails! LOL. I haven't had them since I went to prom. And I'll probably hate them after 2 hours, but I haven't done anything to pamper myself for a long time. I'd really like a hair cut and some serious highlights, but that would be too much I think. So Ash is going to get a pedicure and I'm going in for the nails. Then we're going to hit California Yogurt because believe it or not I haven't even made it there yet. A sin I know, but I'm trying to fix it. I also still have a few things on my list of things to buy that I need to get. Aaron needs a lunch box and I think they're on sale at KMart this week so I'm going to go there. Then I'll hit up staples because they have some stuff for dirt cheep. School supply stuff. Although I'm still going to have to get most of his stuff at home. I also need to go to Sams club and pick up some random stuff there too. So over all, this week is going to fly by quickly. We leave early Thursday to head for UT. Then on Friday I'll be leaving about 9 to head to Dillon. Then Saturday we'll leave to head home. And I'm excited to go home. I miss Mike and I miss my bed and I miss my upstairs and I miss my calling. But then I have to go back to being Mom again instead of Mom with 3 sisters who are willing (most of the time) to help out. :D But oh well. That's what happens I guess. I'm excited for Aaron to start school. He's excited too. Oh the joys of riding the bus to and from school. And to have a lunchbox. We're looking for spiderman. :D Anyway, it's past 12 and I'm tired. love to all! L