A couple of months ago there was a blowout at a family function and the cause of the blowout had to deal with Christmas presents and whether or not to have them all combined (like you buy something for the family instead of buying a gift for one of the siblings and then the cousins draw names) I was opposed to the idea of a family gift {my reasoning for this is that I feel the kids wouldn't get a gift if it was lumped in with the family gift. the gift would probably be a gift card - if you're lucky, an annoying popcorn set that you'll never use, if you're not lucky. Anyway, the kids wouldn't recognize it as a gift for them etc} There was a huge blowout, some people went home, some of us still aren't speaking to each other and the rest of us drew names for the cousins...to carry on as if nothing had happened.
This weekend we went to the lake. On Saturday as we're sitting outside, waiting for the thunderheads to disperse so we can head back onto the lake to play, my father in law says "your mom and I have been talking and we'd like to propose that we get rid of all Christmas gifts" I'll be honest, my first thoughts were not kind. Neither were my second or third thoughts. But I quickly remembered what happened at the "other" family event and so I asked for some clarification so that I understood what was being said. They quickly clarified that THEY will still be giving gifts for Christmas, but they think that giving to siblings (50$) and giving to cousins (10$) is getting out of hand and is too expensive. I still stood by my guns when I said that I thought the cousins should still give a gift. I don't care if the adult gift gets scrapped. I find it pointless and a little annoying and sure, even a bit expensive. And let's face it. Christmas is expensive. So for our little family, the sibling/cousin gifts run us 80. I wonder if they brought it up because Mike's sister is preggo with #5. Sounds like a personal problem. Anyway, I asked for time to think about it and they promised that all 6 couples would have the opportunity to vote.
But I'm not going to lie. I was pretty annoyed. And it did put a little bit of a damper on the weekend. A little one. I just found it funny that they said "we've been thinking...." when I know darn well that it was Mike's sister that was hounding them to bring it up. On the positive side, they did try to do it diplomatically. I will give them credit for that. And they did hear me out and we all had a good conversation about it. But a huge part of me, the petty, annoying side of me just wants to do everything in my power to make sure Mike's sister doesn't get her way.
So as of right now, we're undecided...Mike and I. There are a lot of factors into the Quinton Family Christmas Gong Show and this is something that's going to effect all of us. Even little old me, who is nothing but an in-law. We'd like to keep things as they are for right now. Mike's grandparents and his uncles and aunts have a big Christmas dinner every year and his dad is hoping to end the big family dinner in 2 years and have each of us celebrate with our own families. So Mike and I are thinking that until that happens we should keep things as they are and then once changes are made to the QFCGS then we can re-evaluate what to do with gifts.
But it still really annoys me. REALLY. "Your mom and I were thinking...." RIIIGHT. Stick with that one, maybe in a few years I'll believe you. snort.
song: We Are Family - kinda gives you a headache huh? welcome to my world
4 comments:
AMEN! I won 't lie that it has caused some knock-down arguments around here (the kind where I want to knock down my MIL) because she feels and acts like a mother to my children, overriding our authority as parents. SHE is the main reason that I don't blog anymore. There's a whole lotta venting there, but -- yes, I agree. Family is annoying.
That is a tough situation. I agree with both reasonings to continue it or not to, but I think bottom line, your inlaws are never fair about it. I'd be doing the same thing you're doing, and I'd be trying to get others to side with me too out of principle! Lol petty, yes! Does it matter, probably not so much in the big picture but traditions are traditions. One person shouldn't decide for all!
Gosh you need to move away! Lol
you don't want my opinion on this one...but I'm going to give it anyways! Ha!
I think we have too many presents at Christmas period. I'd probably be like your SIL bringing it up that we stop some of the stuff.
Laura, maybe we are not kindred spirits anymore...
then again, I am helping out (a teensy tiny bit) with Show choir now, so we are again right?!
Each family is different and it makes Christmas stuff so much harder. I've been in similar situations - it's hard to not get upset about stuff. I try to remember though, that the holiday isn't so much about me, and sometimes it calms me down. (sometimes...)
Last year on Devon's side we stopped do the sibling thing and just did the cousin presents and it worked out great. The family gift thing is LAME, I'd rather do nothing than the family gift. Isn't that what we do on our side? I hate it. LOL Good thing I give to ash this year. I think the cousin thing is great, especially since you guys are all there and can actually give them to each other. If the cousin exchange isn't an option the guess what, treat your family as friends, give to those who you really like and would like to give a present to, and don't to others. You don't need to make a big deal about it but maybe have your kids make something for them or something.
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