Stake Conference

We just got home from the adult session of Stake Conference and WOW what a meeting!! You know, before I get into the conference, I must say that there is a HUGE difference in the spirit and my attention level when I sit near the front. Mike's dad is in the stake presidency and so there are always a few rows reserved for their families and normally I balk at sitting there because even though we are technically "family" we're not immediate family. I mean there are members of the presidency who have young children at home and I feel guilty taking their seats. But when we arrived the only one sitting in the reserved seating was Mike's mom. So we were told to go and sit with her. So we did. Normally either I go to this meeting or Mike does. I don't think we've ever gone together and so this was the first time for that. Normally I get there about 10 minutes before it starts and we're back in over flow with the hard chairs. Well, we were there early and we had 2nd row seats. When you can see the speakers faces it makes a huge difference. I cried through most of the meeting. And the Stake president's talk was the worst. His wife died about 2 months ago from cancer and he tried to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers and fasting. But he couldn't get it all out. I just cried and cried and cried and I don't even know the man or his family other than knowing that he's the stake president. Anyway, I believe that this is the first stake conference where I've felt that I need to go home and make some serious changes in my life. For a while now I've been thinking that I'm not who I want to be and I don't really like who I am now. I have many, many, many, many, many faults that are becoming worse and not better and for a while now I've been feeling as though I need to make some serious changes in my life, but have been to lazy to do so. Well, General Conference put a boot in my rear and made me look over my life and think of how I want to change and then Stake Conference just made it all that more necessary for me to get on with it and to quit procrastinating. And oh it's still going to be a long road ahead, but it's time for me to make some changes and to be who HF wants me to be. I'm sure He shakes his head at me and thinks "You have so much potential and you're wasting it" I have a serious problem with how I spend my free time. I read. TONS. Way more than any normal person should. I read for hours every day. I get the least amount of chores done as possible and find myself reading a book or more every day. Now, what could I be doing with all that time? Well, I could be a better person that's for sure. So it's time to put my life in order, to do the things I'm supposed to, to be a better mom, to speak with a soft, loving voice, to be an influence for good in my family and to those I'm around, I need to do so much. If I wasn't so overcome with the feelings I had tonight I might feel overwhelmed. But it is time. It is past time. And I'm embarrassed to think of the day when I will stand before my Maker and I will have to explain what I did in my time. And then He will probably show me what I could have done and the lives I could have touched starting with my own little family. So ashamed. But alas, I will not be down hearted. So hopefully my life will start to change and I can become that much closer to being who I need to be. :D