Perspective

Lately I've been feeling unsettled.  The rush and bustle of the holiday season has really put a strain on me this year and I am finding myself grumpy and unhappy with all the things we commit to.  More parties, more cards, more gifts, more treat plates, more more more.  And today I just hit a wall.  I am so done with it all. 

So tonight I was sitting on the couch having a pity party for one, thinking of all my woes and annoyances.  I jumped on facebook and I found a video from my cousin's wife Holly.  Holly and Jansen had twins a few months ago.  They were both born with congenital heart disease and other health problems.  Boden passed away within a few weeks of being born.  Here's the video Holly made:

Boden

Then a few weeks ago Charlie passed away unexpectedly.  I cried when I found out.  My heart just broke.  I had been watching his progress through facebook and was just in love with him and how much his family was in love with this little man.  So today Holly posted Charlie's video and it made me feel like a horrible person.  Me, sitting here, thinking about me, and how much I have to do and how I'm not enjoying this holiday season.  While my cousin and his wife bury their second baby within a few months of each other.  What kind of Christmas are they having this year?  How their hearts must break.  I think of their nights and how long they must be.  How endless the days seem.  My troubles are stupid in comparison and I'm sad that it takes the death of a child to remind me of what truly is important.  Family.  Here's Charlie's video:

Charlie

I know that life doesn't end when we die.  I've known it since before I was born.  Having been raised in a family who lost a baby, it was something that I have always known.  It isn't something I've had to gain a testimony of, it's just a fact.  Like how the sky is blue, snow is white, the sun still shines above the clouds.  I know all of this is possible through our Savior, Jesus Christ.  And what better a time to be reminded of his love and his sacrifice for us than at the season we celebrate his birth.  Little Charlie and Boden have lots of family to watch over them until the day they are reunited with their parents and brother and sisters.  The trial is in the missing them every day.  The remembering.  The birthdays, thinking oh, they would be 3 this year.  Oh, they would be going to school today.  Those are the hard days.  I pray that Holly and Jan will be forever blessed for being the parents of these two special boys.  The Lord had bigger plans for them and how blessed they are for being part of such a loving family.